Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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