The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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