I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No subtext here. People are naked.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
