Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
