nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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