3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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