Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Boobs are out for the taking
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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