No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
