why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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