I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
