We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
