So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize