Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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