She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
