i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
