is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
