We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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