I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
