Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize