On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My ex is stopping by while heβs working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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