You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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