i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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