oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
