Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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