Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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