OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
they're like a gay fantastic four
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
