I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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