Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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