...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
