Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She needs sedatives and a leash
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
