We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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