kristin has been a bad kristin
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize