Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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