you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize