so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Boobs are out for the taking
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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