I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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