just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
