New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
