I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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