Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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