Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize