I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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