we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
