It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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