so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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