i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you win again, gameday.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you never un-have a 4some
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
