who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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