ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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