I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
