I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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