I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
