Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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