Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
