oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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