I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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