I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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