remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's never too late to be topless.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
