That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
