I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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